The Rev. Janice Ford, Rector
The Church of the Reconciliation Episcopal
Webster, MA

I realize that by the time you read this column, Memorial Day may have passed.  However, I feel compelled to share my thoughts with you regarding the day America honors its fallen service men and women.  Those thoughts are closely tied to my understanding of God’s love for us.

Attempting to understand the sacrifice that Jesus made by allowing himself to be brutally crucified, and thereby making salvation possible for us, is very difficult for most of us.  Theologians refer to this as “atonement theory;” that is, the means by which we try to make sense of why Jesus needed to die.  There are several atonement theories, and each one has merit.  However, I find myself drawn to that which describes Jesus’ death as an act of love—the love both he and his Father have for all of us.  I see this same kind of love manifested in the actions of those men and women who willingly went into battle to fight for the freedom we all treasure.

In the Gospel according to John (15:13), Jesus says, “No one has greater love than this, to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.”  Jesus chose to sacrifice himself for our salvation because he loved us.  Clearly, those whose memories we honor made a similar choice.  Though Jesus’ death and resurrection gave us our eternal salvation, our fallen service men and women have followed his example of sacrifice, and gave us our freedom.

No one wants war.  No one wants to die.  Yet, there are those Americans who believe so strongly in duty, honor, and the preservation of freedom, that they will put themselves in harm’s way in order to protect and sustain our right to live as we choose.  These people are our heroes.  They are the ones to whom we look for a stellar example of what it means to love one another.

My prayer is that wars will end, and that we will no longer need anyone to sacrifice him or herself for our freedom.  That is my prayer, but I fear it is one prayed against such a powerful force of evil in this world, that true peace will only come when Jesus returns to gather the whole world—both the living and the dead—to himself. 

Until then, may God bless our heroes and their families.  May God bless our enemies for whom Jesus said we should pray, and may God continue to bless America.

By the Rev. Janice Ford, Rector
The Church of the Reconciliation (Episcopal)

Make no mistake about it—'tis the season for weddings!

I recently heard a TV news pundit remark that marriage is a thing of the past. He went on to elaborate that marriage had evolved out of necessity. In the earliest days of civilization, the men (hunter/gatherers) provided food and protection for the women (the nesters/nurturers) and the children. This was very much a practical arrangement, and there was certainly little romance involved.

Later, marriages were often arranged by families in order to protect the inheritance of land and wealth.  The Church also got involved sometime in the latter half of the first century.  That involvement came as a result of the intertwining of the Catholic Church with the Roman Empire.  The priest married the two people on behalf of the government, and eventually it was seen as a sacrament of the church.

According to this TV reporter, only in the last two or three hundred years have men and women chosen to come together and share their lives primarily out of love, rather than necessity or obligation.  His conclusion was that, though love and  romance may be the initial point that brings these people together, many marriages fail today because one or other of the spouses discovers they do not NEED to be together long term.

Since the need for protection and provision is now thought to be the duty of both the marriage partners, many men and women are no longer willing to try and preserve their marriages if the going gets rough—mostly because they don’t feel they have to.

The real truth of the matter is that a good marriage has little to do with either romance or providing for mutual need.  The reality is that people can have both of those things without the benefit of marriage.  Marriages that last, may, and hopefully do, include physical love, mutual protection, and the structure for growing a family.  However, the reason any of us should marry, or choose to stay married has to do primarily with our personal relationship with God.  This, by the way, was the one concept concerning marriage that was NOT identified in the TV report.  Surprising?  Of course, not.

Yes, God has everything to do with a good marriage.  The primary purpose of marriage is to provide the context or structure in which both partners can help the other to enhance his or her personal relationship with God.  Any couple who enters into marriage without this as their primary objective will be sorely disappointed with the outcome before too long.

We humans are very fragile creatures.  We succumb easily to those things that can interfere with our day-to-day living as married people.  Before we know it, the things of this world have stressed to the point of breaking those things that we thought were important in a marriage:  sex, children, financial security, personal success, etc.  It can all go awry quickly and easily.

With the couple’s primary focus on enhancing each other’s relationship with God, however, all those predictable stressors can be handled more easily, and the marriage itself is much more likely to survive.

Before it became politically incorrect to do so, folks once said, “The family that prays together, stays together.”  Inherent in this little jewel of Americana is the essence of what I am saying about marriage.  As believing Christians, we embrace the notion that nothing good comes without God’s blessing.  What Christ taught us about living in the world should also be the template for a marriage that can survive even the worst calamity.  Many couples continue to turn to their churches to officiate at their weddings, but once the service is over, God may never be invited into their marriages again.

When I counsel couples and then officiate at their weddings, I implore those couples not to forget to keep God in their marriages.  We all know they will find the need for unconditional love, forgiveness, patience, compassion and perseverance at every turn in the years to come.  These needs come with the seemingly ridiculous notion that two people can live one life together in harmony and happiness.  How silly are we to think it can work?

But the good news is that it CAN work.  God can be the guide through all of it.  Couples need to trust that God will not abandon them.  They should never hold back on asking God for what they need, and, most importantly, be willing to surrender their life to God’s will in all things.

The purpose and culture of marriage may have changed since its inception, but the importance of God in marriage has never changed. And that’s because the importance of God in our lives has never changed.

Couples need to go into their marriages with new resolve to keep Christ as their cornerstone.  They need to keep their eyes wide open, their hearts full of love, and a firm grip on God’s hand as well as one another’s.

By the Rev. Janice Ford
The Church of the Reconciliation (Episcopal) Webster

All of us have at least one or two scars on our bodies.  Some are really significant—perhaps from a surgical procedure or an accident.  Others are relatively minor—perhaps a small burn or a cut that did not heal well.  When I was a nurse working in the emergency department people almost always asked if whatever injury brought them in would “leave a scar.”  No one wants a scar.  People care about changes to the integrity of their bodies.  Our concern about the natural aging process is proof enough of that.

On April 8th we celebrated Easter, and for the next few weeks we will be reading Scripture that describes the time when the risen Christ visited those he loved.  Those must have been truly bizarre days.  It is difficult to imagine how Jesus’ closest followers dealt with seeing him “alive” after seeing him die and be buried.  And not only was Jesus walking, talking, and eating.  He was doing all those things while bearing the scars from his gruesome death.  He tells the apostle Thomas, “Put your finger here and see my hands.  Reach out your hand and put it in my side.  Do not doubt, but believe.” (John 20:27-28 NRSV)  Some may ask why God would raise his Son from the dead bearing scars.  Why wouldn’t God want Jesus’ body to be perfectly restored?

Scars are a sign that something has happened to us.  No matter the cause, no matter the intensity, scars speak about our lives.  They tell a story about us.  The scar from a Caesarian birth tells the world that I am a mother.  The scar from a bullet wound speaks to a young man’s troubled past.  The scar on the wrist of a fourteen year old girl tells of the self-inflicted cuts she hoped would obliterate the pain of the abandonment she feels.

Jesus’ scars told of his crucifixion—not just for the emotional angst of telling the story, but so that we would not forget why it happened.  We must never forget that Jesus’ death and resurrection provided our salvation.  Scars are the most powerful means for us to remember what happens to us in our lives.  Psychological and emotional scars are no less important and impactful as physical ones.  They remind us of how incredibly wounded we all are.

God did not send Jesus back with scars so that he could be pitied.  Jesus did not use those scars to berate those who killed him, or frighten those who loved (abandoned) him.  Jesus used his scars to help us have faith—to help us believe.  By coming back to the world wounded, Jesus reminds us that our own scars have meaning and purpose in our lives.  No matter what kind of scars we bear—physical, emotional, mental, or spiritual—they can, and should compel us to continue living more fully, more alive, more aware, more in tune with God.

When we look at our scars, we should name them for what they are—reminders not of our imperfections, but rather of the opportunities they give us to learn from them and go forward.  God’s grace is not found in our perfection.   It is found in our brokenness.

The Rev. Janice C. Ford, Rector

The Church of the Reconciliation (Episcopal)
5 North Main Street, Webster, MA

The Cadbury Bunny commercials are on TV again, so it must be Easter.  I mean, after all, if not for those ads, Easter baskets, flowering plants, and bright new outfits how else would we know?  How, indeed?  Maybe the fact that Christians around the world have spent the past forty days thinking and praying about their lives and what it means to be true disciples of Christ, together with the praise and passion of Palm Sunday may have provided some clues that Easter is near.

For Christians, Easter is the pinnacle of our faith.  Without it, we would be following a man who did some good things, taught some worthwhile life lessons, and then was crucified like the worst of criminals.  Instead, the resurrection of Jesus provides the true meaning, not only of our faith, but for the entirety of our lives.  The death and resurrection of Jesus of Nazareth transformed the world, and the proof of that transformation is found in the longevity of Christianity for over two thousand years.

The resurrection of Jesus carries with it two really important notions.  First, Jesus did not raise himself from the dead.  His Father, the God of all Creation, raised him.  This is important to Christians because it completes the sacrifice that the Father and Son made together; namely, that God loved us so much that God would give the world God’s son to live and die for us; that Jesus would say “yes” to what was being asked of him; and that the Father would demonstrate the triumph of good over evil by raising his Son from the dead.

The second important notion about the resurrection is that the raising of Jesus is more than just a historical and faith-based event that Christians can look back on and rejoice in.  Rather, Easter is an experience that we are living every single day.  That is why on Easter morning we say, “Christ IS risen,” not “Christ WAS raised.”  “Christ IS risen” means we can live in the confidence that his resurrection propels our lives toward something meaningful and sacred.  “Christ IS risen” means that this is not just a one-time event that happened two thousand years ago.  It means that we can live our lives as if WE are the ones who found the empty tomb.  We can live that miracle every day, and incorporate it into our daily lives.  We can live in hope of experiencing something spectacular when we leave this world.   In the ordinariness of our daily lives, we can experience Jesus’ resurrection, and have hope for our own transformation.

It is very appropriate that we celebrate the resurrection of Christ in the spring when the things of this world “come back to life.”  This notion accounts for the Easter eggs, the colorful flowers, the baskets of goodies, and the new outfits—all of which we have come to know and enjoy.  Spring means new beginnings, and so even for our non-Christian brothers and sisters who do not celebrate Jesus’ resurrection, this time of year brings a sense hope and renewal.  With that in mind, perhaps we can all share in the understanding that there is something far greater than ourselves that calls us to transform our lives, and daily be reborn more grace-filled than the day before.

The Rev. Janice Ford 
The Church of the Reconciliation (Episcopal) 
Webster, MA

It seems pretty safe to say that most people will stop to give aid at the scene of an accident. Even if an individual has no first aid training, he or she will likely pull over to see if anyone has been injured, and will, at the very least, call 911 for help. It is the honorable, humane, decent thing to do, right?

Why is it then, that when a person sees someone they care about heading for disaster in a relationship, they are willing to avert their eyes and adopt an “it’s none of my business” attitude? Just recently, someone shared with me that a good friend of his had entered into an extra-marital affair. He explained how horrified he was that his friend, who has been married for twenty-three years, was now involved with a woman who was also married. When I asked him what he intended to do now that he knew about the affair, the man replied, “Nothing. It’s my friend’s business, not mine.”

In my head I heard the squeal of the brakes, the crunch of metal, and smelled the gasoline. This man’s friend was in a head-on relationship collision, and this man wasn’t going to stop to call 911, let alone check for a pulse!

Most Christians are familiar with the story of the Good Samaritan, and Jesus makes it pretty clear what his expectations are in terms of rendering aid to someone in need. Caring for one’s neighbor goes beyond tending to a physical emergency, or giving food to the hungry. Jesus also expects us to give good counsel to others when we see them heading for a disaster. Some people consider this “meddling,” but Jesus considers it demonstrating our love for one another.

I am not suggesting we batter people into doing as we suggest. However, helping others to remember what God expects of each of us can be done gently, lovingly, and respectfully. People are always free to accept or reject the message we offer. Our role is simply to offer it. When we do less, we are not living up to our Baptismal covenant, and we are not demonstrating love for the other person. Instead, we are hiding behind a fear that the other will become angry or resentful of our input. It is true, that the other person may get angry or hostile, but Jesus warned us that being his disciple does not come easily or without cost.

May God give us the strength to be the “first responder” others need us to be, and may God provide such a Good Samaritan to us when we are headed for disaster.

The Rev. Janice Ford 
The Church of the Reconciliation (Episcopal)
Webster, MA

Recently, I had a conversation with a wonderful 27 year old man (who I will refer to as Sean) who shared with me the circumstances of his early life.  He explained that he had been born to a very young couple (mother was 17, father was 18), both of whom were drug addicts.  At the age of seven, Sean and his identical twin brother were taken from his parents and adopted by his maternal grandparents.  He related feeling very loved and cared for by his grandmother, and credits his “good morals” to her.  However, he also related that he felt he had “missed out” on something because his grandmother did not bring him up to know God in a formal or religious way.  Though he said he was pretty certain his grandmother believed in God, she never spoke about faith to him or his brother.  Now, Sean found himself searching for something he could not name, yet knowing that he must pursue it.  In his own words, “My life is good, and I am happy, but I want to know God.  I know doing so will make my life even better.”

Clearly, hearing those words from someone like Sean is every clergy person’s dream!  Here is someone who is simply aching to know God in a more personal way.  Sean is a believer, though he’s not exactly sure what it is he believes in.  The opportunity to help Sean know God more fully is an incredible gift.

Sean’s story is not unlike those of thousands of people.  Regardless of whether someone has been un-churched, mal-churched, or mis-churched, the end result is the same—a burning desire to know God in a way that will transform his or her life, making it possible to live life to its fullest potential.  The guidance Sean and others like him need and want is the role of the Church—every Christian denomination—dare I say, every religion.

The difficulty here is that helping people to discover God in their lives requires a good portion of risk, sacrifice, and even discomfort, and it cannot be solely the work of ordained clergy.  Though clergy can provide instruction and spiritual direction, hearing how God has transformed the lives of other lay people is incredibly valuable and necessary to aid someone who is searching.  Spiritual formation is the responsibility of every believer.  It takes time and involvement, however, which many feel they cannot offer.  Still others reason that the spiritual life of others is “none of their business.”  The truth is that God not only approves of us helping one another in this way, God expects it!

In the same way that most of us feel a responsibility to feed the poor, we must also extend that feeling of responsibility to feed those who may be living in spiritual poverty.  Sharing the spiritual experiences of our lives, modeling good behavior, and extending invitations to others to worship are the best ways to meet that responsibility.

I am excited beyond words to walk with Sean as he meets God in new and wonderful ways, but I will not be doing it alone.  I am reaching out to others to walk with us as well.  To do less is to ignore the mandate that God has given to us, even as we cherish the incredible gift of faith.

The Rev. Janice C. Ford
Rector
The Church of the Reconciliation, Webster, MA

By January 20th I’d already received the ashes I’d ordered for Ash Wednesday.  It hadn’t even been a month since Christmas.  I had to look at the calendar to confirm what I already knew to be true:  Lent begins today, February 22^nd.  Those ashes have been staring at me from my desk for three weeks.  Every now and then I’d pick up the tiny plastic package stamped “100,” indicating that’s how many people could be marked with them.  Humph!  I wondered how the “ash company” figures that out.  The package certainly didn’t look big enough.  Do they line up 100 people and have someone use the ashes to mark the cross on their foreheads, and see how far they go?  Funny the things you wonder about when you’re staring at ashes.

The beginning of Lent notwithstanding, it occurs to me that we are all metaphorically staring at ashes.  Ashes represent the end of something.  The flame has died, and all that is left are the ashes.  Lent begins with the imposition of ashes so that we can be reminded of our mortality.  It’s sort of God’s way of saying to us, “Don’t get too comfortable in that body.  It won’t last forever.”

What does last forever, of course, is the next life we will have—the life that comes as a result of Jesus’ death and resurrection.  Without those two events, we would remain in the ashes for eternity.

Though we live in the hope of Jesus’ promise of eternal life, we are likely to experience times in our lives that have nothing to do with our physical death, yet we still feel we are living in the ashes.  Those things that challenge us such as financial concerns, relationship crises, addictions, stressors at work, etc. can make us feel that we are burning out of control, and that soon all that will remain are the ashes of our lives.

The good news (and remember, there is always Good News) is that God can help us navigate through those difficulties, too.  Turning all those concerns over to God, and sincerely asking that God’s will be done, can help us to rise up through those ashes like a phoenix.  In doing so, we discover that, no matter the outcome, we are able to live in physical, mental, emotional and spiritual peace.

As many of us come together today for the imposition of ashes, let’s think not only about our mortal death, but our living as well, and consider how we might ask Jesus to keep us out of the ashes even as he stirs the flame in our hearts.

The Rev. Janice C. Ford
Pastor, the Church of the Reconciliation, Webster

Have you ever wondered how we survived before we had cell phones? Is it possible there was a time when we did not talk with another person at the same time we drove, shopped, watched TV, ate, or used our computer? Did we actually miss calls because there was no call forwarding, voice messaging service, or multiple extensions of (archaic) land lines? Indeed, how did we manage?

Despite my somewhat tongue-in-cheek attitude about the matter, I am certainly not foolish enough to think that communication technology is without merit. It has made our lives easier and safer in many ways. In some cases it has actually saved lives. However, we may have gone a bit overboard on all of this. Why is it that otherwise rational folks would stand in line for hours in the freezing cold in the middle of the night so that they can be among the first to get “the best,” “the most,” “the ultimate” phone-- which literally changes every month?

Our societal obsession with material things aside, I am still prone to ask why we are so drawn to phones, and other means to communicate? Do we really have that much to say?

My observations tell me that, technological bells and whistles notwithstanding, people really do want to talk to one another. Our fast-paced, jam packed lives have left us with little time to just talk to someone with whom we really connect (pun intended). I remember as a child growing up in a row house in Albany, New York, nearly every day my Mom would talk with the lady next door—Mrs. Ciccolela leaning out her kitchen window, and Mom leaning out over the back porch railing. I don’t recall what they talked about. All I know is that there was something really valuable to both of them in being able to just share whatever was on their minds at the time.

All of this leads me to wonder how much time we spend talking to the One with whom we have the best connection—the connection that never drops our call, is never riddled with static, and whose technology never changes. How much time do we spend talking to God?

I have had many people tell me, “Pastor, I just can’t seem to pray on my own.” My usual response is, “Prayer is just connecting with God, so if you can think, you can pray.” Folks who have a hard time articulating what they consider “appropriate” prayer are missing the point. God does not care how we pray. All God wants is to hear from us. True prayer involves using whatever means available to us to simply communicate with God. Sometimes that involves reading or reciting a prayer written by someone else. Sometimes it involves “thinking” a message to God. Sometimes it involves just listening so that God can do the talking.

Typically, when we reach for the phone or Facebook or Twitter, our goal is to share something with someone whom we are fairly certain will be glad to hear from us. It may or may not be about something of earth-shattering importance, but we find great comfort in being able to “reach out and touch someone.” It seems to me we should be doing more of that with God. The next time you are thinking of picking up the phone and telling a friend about the best and worst thing that happened that day, take a minute and tell God first. You won’t get a busy signal, and the “call clarity” is perfect.

The Rev. Janice Ford
The Episcopal Church of the Reconciliation
Webster, MA

Even the most intense “I hate football” diehards have probably heard of Tim Tebow. His name has been bandied about for several months now, but even folks who might not normally pay attention to such things would be hard pressed to escape the fact that he and his team will be facing the New England Patriots on January 14th in an NFL playoff game. By the time our readers see this article, the game will be over, and there will either be great rejoicing or inconsolable weeping across “Patriot Nation.”

It happens that I am a big football fan, so I learned about Tim Tebow early on. This bright 24 year old was drafted into the NFL in 2010 as a third-string quarterback for the Denver Broncos. He was a Heisman Trophy winner, and has more sports accolades than most “armchair quarterbacks” could ever dream of. He’s handsome as they come, and has a winning personality. He’s done his team proud by bringing them into the playoffs this year, in spite of some of the sport pundit naysayers who declared him a “running QB” who would never be an effective passer.

So why in the world am I, the religion columnist for the Patriot, writing about Tim Tebow? Short answer: Tim is a man of great faith and he is not ashamed to show it. Since bursting onto the professional football scene as a mid-season replacement, he has not only forced many sports writers to eat their words in terms of his playing ability, but he has brought his unabashed faith in Jesus Christ into the end zone with him. The sight of this young man kneeling down in prayer at the conclusion of every touchdown, or praying before the start of each game has either caused fellow Christians to enthusiastically cheer him on, or caused others, who claim to be “offended” by those actions, to make fun of him (Yes, this means you, late night talk show hosts!).

My initial reaction to those who opposed Tebow’s public piety was to ask whether these are the same people who are against “celebrating in the end zone.” (For those of you who are not football geeks, that’s when the scoring player spikes the ball or does a dance or some other celebratory action after scoring a touchdown.) In other words, I wondered if people objected to what Tebow did because they were against ANY kind of public acknowledgement that a team had scored points in the game.

Soon after, I began to realize that celebrating in the end zone was probably not the issue at hand. Rather, it occurred to me that people poked fun at Tebow, or forcefully objected to his actions, for the same reason that any bullies do what bullies do. They do not understand this young man’s relationship with God, and they feel uncomfortable with it, so they cast aspersions on it.

What is really at the root of all this is that many people fear the power of God. At some level they understand that the goodness of God can overcome anything and anyone, and that leaves some feeling less than secure. They will deny it, but that is the truth.

I seriously doubt that Tim Tebow’s public displays of faith have a whole lot to do with getting his team into the playoffs this year, but I applaud his desire to share that faith with others. In the end, I am still rooting for Brady and the Pat’s, but I am also rooting for God.

The Rev. Janice Ford
The Church of the Reconciliation (Episcopal)

Each year at this time we hear people talk about New Year resolutions. Also typical each year is that three months hence, most of those resolutions are a distant memory.

The word “resolution,” which comes from the word “resolved,” has a connotation of having made a decision about something. If I am resolved to do such-and-such, what I’m really saying is that I’ve made a decision to do it. Decisions are important because they imply that a certain amount of discernment has taken place, and discernment implies that a good amount of thinking, research, and even prayer has taken place.

Perhaps the reason why we so often give up on our New Year resolutions is that we haven’t spent enough time in the discernment phase, so even though we say we are resolved to do such-and-such, we truly have not made a decision to do it. Without that firm decision, we are much more likely to fail. This is the difference between wanting to do something, and resolving to do it. There are plenty of things I want to do, but much fewer things I am resolved to do.

Typically, being resolved to do something will involve a change of behavior that involves sacrifice, self-discipline, and/or compromise. This is no easy task. We are creatures of habit who find change difficult. In order to accomplish change, we need help, and, as we all know, “Our help is in the name of the Lord.”

Asking for God’s help to make any change should begin in the discernment phase. We may know intellectually that we need to do a certain thing in order to be more physically or mentally healthy, but we need to actively ask God for the strength, stamina, self-discipline, and focus to “know it” on an even deeper level. We need God’s help to integrate this knowledge into our very being. Once that integration happens we are ready to move forward from discernment to resolution. In doing so, the likelihood of our success soars from minimal to very high.

This year, as we consider those resolutions we want to adopt in order to be more physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually healthy and happy, let’s not just say the words in the hope that they will somehow magically come to pass. Instead, let’s spend a good bit of time discerning the details of our resolutions. Let’s invite God into the process. Rest assured God made a resolution to help us from the first moment of our creation. It’s a done deal.